Free Tips for Spammers And Scammers

These - at least - have been designed.
These – at least – have been designed.

Remember that I wrote 3 blog postings  about how sex sells? Believe me, I absolutely still support that opinion. But, I think some people don’t really understand my point of view. I mean, come on, I receive so many pornography-related spam, even here on WordPress, that people really think that it is a good marketing method to just throw porn toward anyone, and hope that one bites (Ow?).

Anyway. Sure, I actually have my spam filters now set up reliably that I hardly check my spam folder anymore. Spam is actually not bothering me so much anymore. I noticed I get about 100 spam messages each day, but they are nearly perfectly filtered out so it does not keep me awake anymore. Times have been different.

But I do not completely understand the idea. Sure, a lot of spammers hope to strike riches, because there are always fools that click on links, and even pay money. And that for the price of an email list and a badly written email; that’s not bad. If I can offer anyone the opportunity to buy a list for $50, write an email, and send it out and within the hour you might potentially earn $1,000 – who would not do that?

And there is my problem. I honestly would not have a problem with spam an sich if it was actually written by an editor. Professionally, with classy photos… win me over?

Yes, I am actually going to give a tip here to any potential or already active spammer:

Please, please, please, invest $250 more to get a well designed email written by a real editor – no grammatical errors and just a nice looking mail – and earn a potential 10-fold of the $1,000. Because, well, that’s the whole ‘sex sells’ thing that I wrote about, and it at least feels for me that even the spamming community ‘cared’ about their receivers.

Of course they do not. And most of them are younger than the appropriate age to actually use the products they try to lure you into buying. So, it is towards deaf-men’s ears. But! I at least hope that someone gets the message 😉

And this also goes for insurances, mortgages… anything! Anything that is being spammed right now.

Even to the Nigerian scammers; PLEASE, use a spelling checker when telling me that I am selected to park a gazillion dollars on my account while they move the rest of the money out of Nigeria, for the sweet sum of thousands of dollars. I will never respond to your letters, but at least show me some respect by addressing me correctly.

Oh, and if you handpicked me, I would also appreciate it if you at least address me by my name, and ask for the information that you actually need to steal my identity. It is so easy to pick out the amateurs, because they actually have forgotten that with only my name and email address and country of residence, you cannot steal my identity. Oh, and to those same guys; you already have my name and email address… how else would you ‘know’ me… no?

And, finally, let’s not forget the actually legit companies on the verge to become solid spammers – a lot of companies who are using the internet cannot withstand the urge to buy also into mailing lists to send out their new products out of a pure concept:

Don’t.

Just. Don’t.

There is no beaten path to success on the web with your production. Spamming is by far not as successful as many people and marketing organisations appear it to be. It is like in any other branch; only a tiny percentile is actually successful, the others… not.

Don’t get your perfectly good brand name get smudged by a marketing mistake like that. There are better, and nicer, ways to get your brand and product out there.

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